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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149665">being as in love with you as i am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyUncreativeUserSorry/pseuds/MyUncreativeUserSorry'>MyUncreativeUserSorry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Enby Linh, First Kiss, First Kisses, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Linh, Pining, Songfic, but it wont let me tag that, it's just really soft, mostly - Freeform, they use a phone, they're all together, this is my favourite fic ive ever written</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:27:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyUncreativeUserSorry/pseuds/MyUncreativeUserSorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Biana is hopelessly in love with her best friends</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Linh Song/Biana Vacker, Marella Redek/Biana Vacker, Marella Redek/Linh Song</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>being as in love with you as i am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted on tumblr </p><p>For the prompt: ‘bialinhella fic? of them just hanging out and one of them is just casually like, “so, guys, i’m high-key in love with both of you” and then cue adorable kissing and whatnot. they can be vibing to human music maybe?’</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s no reason that Biana should have Sophie’s iPod, and there’s even less reason for her to know how to use it even the slightest bit. The language is foreign and the technology is fascinating, Biana adores it. Sophie has begrudgingly allowed her to borrow it on occasion, as long as Biana swears not to mess it up (and she doesn’t… too much).</p><p>The most exciting thing is sharing it with others. Teaching other elves about this otherworldly object makes her feel distinguished, learned, well traveled, important. Even if it is really just being huddled close to two elves, one on her left and one on her right, showing them which buttons to press in order to turn it on.</p><p>“So it does more than just calling?” Linh breathes incredulously from her side, their long black hair brushing against Bianas shoulder.</p><p>“Yup!” She presses some more buttons, pulling up what she’d dubbed the ‘Forever Mirror’ function. She holds it up so that all three of them are mostly visible on the screen. Marella leans in, her chin resting beside Bianas cheek. Linh does the same, and Biana can see the faint dusting of pink on her own cheeks from their closeness.</p><p>“It can keep images!” She informs them, pressing the white circle low on the screen. Tt goes black for a split second then Biana clicks a tiny box in the corner. Returning to the screen is that moment from seconds before, Linh and Marella’s bewonderment frozen in time, Biana grinning in between them.</p><p>“Awesome!” Marella says, Linh nodding in agreement. “So it can keep images forever? Just like that?” </p><p>In response, Biana announces ‘Smile!’, the girls do and the screen flashes with a move of her thumb. This image is cleaner, less blurry. All three of their smiles on full display, wide and joyful. Both Linh and Marella have pressed their faces close to be fully visible, their cheeks touching Bianas own.</p><p>“What else does it do?” Linh questions excitedly, and Biana glows under the attention. </p><p>“It can play music!” she proclaims, Marella wrinkles her nose.</p><p>“Like, dwarven music?” she questions. Biana understands the hesitance. Dwarven music is an acquired taste, which none of them have.</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Human music?” Linh tries, sitting up properly. Biana misses their warmth against her face, but she doesn’t move to follow. Marella stays put.</p><p>“Human music,” Biana agrees with a small tilt of her head, her thumb scrolling across the screen, Marella and Linh watching in rapt fascination as she opens a new application. This one is littered with words from Sophie’s old language, English. Biana has given up trying to learn it, instead surfing through songs as they show. Sophie taught her how to make a playlist and she now adds anything that makes her feel. It’s nearly 100 songs long. She didn’t even know that many songs could exist!</p><p>“These are my favourite songs,” She explains to the two of them, clicking on it. Sound rings through the speakers. She may not be able to read English, but understanding the words is much easier out loud. They’ve all learned from Sophie in order to blend into the human world. The first song is upbeat and playful. </p><p>“Oh! Turn it up!” Marella says from her right, and Biana swells with happiness because she likes what Biana likes. The Vacker does as requested and the mood brightens considerably. Linh jumps up and stands before the two of them, offering their hands.</p><p>“Come on! Dance with me!” They laugh, Marella takes one hand and Biana takes the other then all three of them are standing. Biana sets the iPod on Marella’s vanity before taking the pyrokinetic’s hand as well.</p><p>Dancing is a loose term. They spin, twirling together across the crystal floor as the songs flow together, Linh pulling them both around the room giddily, unrestrained in that way that never ceases to make Bianas chest hurt beautifully from the ever expanding affection. Marella sends sparks into the air with a careless flick of the wrist, dazzling like stars against the ceiling.  </p><p>“I love human music!” Linh exclaims breathlessly, Biana pressed close against them.</p><p>“You know what will make it better?” They turn to see Marella standing in front of her closet, the three exchange a look, grinning madly.</p><p>“Makeovers.”</p><p>Yes, makeovers. Linh sits first, Biana takes careful brushstrokes to their face while Marella sifts through her closet. It was moments like these that Biana cherished: Sophie is her best friend, but she hates dressing up. She’d expected Linh and Marella to be the same, but after weeks spent together she’d discovered that Marella could rock looks that made Biana look plain. Linh had been the largest surprise, dressing with a subtle confidence and an excitement that could only be born from wearing the same black cloak for years.</p><p>Three outfits are placed carefully on the bed as Marella takes Linh’s place in front of the vanity. Marella and Linh may have the best style but Biana holds the title of best makeup artist. Linh disappears into the next room over to change. </p><p>The music swims from upbeat to more subdued, longing. Biana flushes, she’d forgotten that this kind of music was on the list. The kind she listens to late at night, full of wishes and dreams. The kind she hears in her head when she meets soft grey eyes, or bright icy blue. The kind she feels deep in her soul when her hand brushes theirs. Marella’s eyes fall shut, listening. Biana can’t help humming along, it flows through her.</p><p><em>“I listen to you rant about your shitty life, even though I know that I can make it better,”</em> she sings softly “<em>And I’m not saying I’d be the best boyfriend but I’d always lend you my sweatshirt, when you’re cold.”</em></p><p>“You have a pretty voice,” Marella mumbles, close. </p><p>“Thanks.” Biana smiles andMarellas lips upturn slightly as Biana rocks backwards, announcing she’s finished.</p><p>“You sure you don’t want me to do yours?” Marella tries, but Biana waves her off, determined to not get lost in the dark shade of her lips. </p><p>“You’d make me into a gulon,” she jokes, Marella chuckles and turns away. Biana swears she hears her say ‘impossible’. She chooses to ignore it. </p><p>Marella disappears into a seperate room to change, and Biana steels herself to face them both. Even alone, dressed casually, Biana struggles to form coherent thought. She’s often subjected to them all dressed up, but the music and the emotion in the room feels different this time. Biana feels more lost, more hopeful. All she can do when she sees them is pine.</p><p>Halfway through her routine, the notes flow into a new song, a familiar song, one she feels deep in her heart. If Linh and Marella were here, she’d change it, but they’re still changing so her eyes slip shut and she simply basks in the soft notes. </p><p>
  <em>Am I allowed, to look at her like that</em>
</p><p>For weeks, Biana had been horrified by her feelings. Perhaps she was confused, because she couldn’t look at Marella and want to feel her arms around her, holding her close, safe and warm. She definitely couldn’t look at Linh and want to feel their touch against her chin and mouth all within the seconds of each other.</p><p>
  <em>Could it be wrong, when she’s just so nice to look at</em>
</p><p>Time passed and she couldn’t deny it anymore. She accepted it, and it almost hurt more.</p><p>Something clicks behind her and her eyes fly open. Out of the adjoining bathroom steps Linh and all of Biana’s worries and doubts fly away because how could she think of anything but them.</p><p>
  <em>And she smells like lemongrass and sleep. She tastes like apple juice and peach. You could find her in a polaroid picture. And she…. Means everything to me</em>
</p><p>Biana thinks that Marella shops specifically for the three of them, because there’s no way she would be caught in that. It’s entirely, soulfully, Linh. Pure white tapered pants, and a lace cape skirt flares out behind them, small diamond-like gemstones sparkling in the light. The top is simple and sleeveless, patterns embroidered across it elegantly. </p><p>
  <em>I’d never tell, no I’d never say a word. And though it aches, it feels oddly good to hurt.</em>
</p><p> “You like it?” they question, and Biana manages a nod, her eyes drifting down her friend. For a short moment, she almost reins herself in, forces herself to be cognizant and not head over heels. Then Marella steps out.</p><p>It’s just as simple, deep blue and not a single sparkle. It’s not even long enough to fall to her knees. Biana feels like she’s gone 100 rounds with the Neverseen, looking between them both in stunned silence.</p><p>
  <em>And I’ll be okay, admiring from afar</em>
</p><p>She thought she was, when she lies awake at night she convinces herself she’s okay living a life without them. Not in the way she wants them. </p><p>
  <em>Cause even when she’s next to me we could not be more far apart</em>
</p><p>Sitting next to them both, pressed close together. Sharing secrets, fears, hopes and dreams. It’ll never be enough, no matter how much she tries to convince herself. It hits her all now, with Dodie playing softly and her loves staring at her, not knowing she loves them the way she does.</p><p>
  <em>And she tastes like birthday cake and story time and fall</em>
</p><p>It hurts in her chest, every moment of ‘what if’ and ‘maybe’ that had been crushed by reality pushing up inside her as she stares. She knows distantly that she’s been quiet for far too long. </p><p>
  <em>But to her, I taste of nothing at all.</em>
</p><p>It swells almost painfully, love and utter despair.</p><p>“Biana, are you okay?” She didn’t notice them get closer, but they’re both crouched at her knees. Their skirts are bunched up underneath them and they’re so close yet so far. Biana’s face feels wet.</p><p>She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Linh’s thumb brushes against her cheek, and Biana can’t decide whether to lean into it, to beg for more, or to jump away. She stills, tears sliding down her face.</p><p>
  <em>And she, means everything to me</em>
</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” Marella murmurs, standing and cupping Bianas face in her hands. Concern dances in her eyes and Biana aches because it’s not enough. They care for her, she knows this. But not enough, they never could. It’s not the same. Tears flow faster and Linh grasps at her hand.</p><p>
  <em>Yes, she means everything to me</em>
</p><p>Biana stutters out words, unintelligible and full of emotion. She can see Marella blink down at her through blurry tears while Linh looks up at her with worry.</p><p>“Biana?” They say at the same time, it wells up inside of her and a wave of every moment  longing, desire, sadness, forces outward in a sob.</p><p>“I love you.” She says it again, wet and rough. “I love you, so much. Both of you. I love you, I love you both and it hurts.” Every word that’s been trapped in her mind spills forth in a hurried babble, fighting their way through thick emotion. </p><p>“You-” Marella exhales, eyes wide,</p><p>“I-” Linh’s voice is softer and Biana has ruined everything.</p><p>As much as it hurts, she needs them. Even just as friends. The people who know her best, better then her own family.</p><p>“I’m sorry I- you- It- You don’t have to say it back.” She’s stammering, trying to pull herself under control. Trying to stop the tears and ignore the weight of their hands, their stares. “I’ll get over it,” she says, like she hasn’t tried a thousand times before. Tried to force down butterflies when Linh smiled. Swallowed back awe at Marella’s laugh.</p><p>She can do it for them, she loves them enough.</p><p>“Don’t be stupid.” Marella wipes gently at Biana’s blurry eyes, sounding much too choked up to be angry. “Of course I love you. How could I not?”</p><p>Biana blinks.</p><p>“Me too,” Linh adds, pulling themself up so all three of them are level. Biana can’t decide where to look, they’re both so close. She hears them saying these things but she can barely bring herself to believe it. “Both of you, for a long time,” she adds shyly and Marella is the only one not flushed deep red, thanks to her dark skin.</p><p>“I didn’t think it was allowed,” Marella explains, “I tried to fight it but-” Her eyes flit between the two, “It didn’t work.”</p><p>“You both-” Biana attempts, gaping, mind racing, nothing computing.</p><p>“I guess-” Marella starts, something bright and unrestrained in her eyes.</p><p>“We love each other,” Linh thoughtfully agrees. They’re beaming, Marella is grinning, Biana might cry anew, for an entirely different reason.</p><p>“You love me,” she whispers reverently, “You love each other,” she adds, the truth tasting strangely beautiful on her tongue. In no future had she dared allow herself to imagine this.</p><p>“What now?” she tries, because her mind is spinning and tears are drying on her skin.</p><p>“I was hoping to start kissing you,” Linh admits, smiling gently at them both. Their eyes are shining, but not with tears like Biana’s, just pure happiness.</p><p>Biana nods open mouthed as Marella offers a hurried ‘Please.’ She’s desperate for it, but she wonders how. They can’t kiss all at once, but she doesn’t want to risk ruining anything by stealing Marella’s chance, she’s still bewildered that they want to kiss her in the first place. She’d hate to ruin it immediately by being selfish, she’s not sure she’d survive it.</p><p>She only just catches Marella telling Linh ‘She needs it’ before warm hands disappear from her face, quickly replaced by a new pair.</p><p>Linh pauses mere centimeters in front of her, their noses nearly brushing. Biana’s skin burns as she gets lost in the colourful powder on their face, the bright intelligence in their eyes.</p><p>“Are you sure?” they ask, and Biana breaks. Surges forward and presses their lips together. It’s rough and lopsided, it’s everything that Biana has ever dreamed it would be.</p><p>They melt into the kiss, Biana feels Marella take one of her hands and she squeezes back numbly. Linh’s hands slide from her cheeks to lay against her neck as they find their rhythm, kissing softer and slower.</p><p>Linh kisses like a bubbling brook, eager and easy. Small movements that have Biana dizzy.</p><p>They lean back and Biana chases their mouth for a moment, suddenly cold without the contact.</p><p>“My turn.” Marella’s voice swims in her ears as the hands fall from her neck and new hands tangle into her hair, fingers carding through the strands. “Yes?” she asks, and Biana manages a short nod before being pulled close.</p><p>Marella kisses like a log fire, warm and unpredictable and Biana’s head spins. It’s safety and home. It begins less awkwardly, more sure, but just as new and amazing.</p><p>Marella makes a sound against her mouth and Biana cracks an eye open to find Linh pressing a kiss to the girl’s cheek.</p><p>Biana pulls away this time,unsteady and overwhelmed.</p><p>“Your turn.” She instructs with a vague wave of her hand. They needn’t be told twice, Marella disentangles and her hands find Linh’s waist, tugging them impossibly closer. Linh’s arms drape over her shoulders as she follows Marella’s lead.</p><p>Watching them kiss is just as exciting and awe inspiring as kissing them, watching the ebb and flow as their lips move against each other.</p><p>Biana pulls herself to wobbly feet and grabs them each by hand carefully, they break away from each other and look to her, dazed. She tilts her head and they understand, allowing her to lead them to the other side of the room.</p><p>They collapse on the bed, Linh in the middle this time. They cup one hand under each girl’s chin and pull them in for a chaste kiss one at a time.</p><p>“Does this mean I have two girlfriends now?” they question as Biana lays her head on their shoulder.</p><p>“Absolutely,” Marella nods, threading one arm over Linh’s shoulders in order to play with Biana’s hair. Her other hand grasps Linh’s in their lap and Biana lays one hand over the two of theirs.</p><p>“If you’ll have us,” Biana agrees as Linh tilts to press a kiss to her forehead and she hums happily, still in utter disbelief.</p><p>“Always,” they state, with a conviction that sends Biana tripping.</p><p>“What should we call you?” Marella asks them. Biana shifts in order to watch Linh’s forehead scrunch adorably, deep in thought.</p><p>“Partner,” they decide, Biana presses a carefree kiss to their chin.</p><p>“I love you,” Biana says, because she can now. She pulls Linh into a heady kiss, Marella’s hold tightening around their hands.</p><p>“And I love you,” she says, backing away from her partner and pressing an equally joyful kiss to her girlfriend’s mouth.</p><p>“I love you both,” Linh says as the two pull apart, tucking one of Marella’s braids behind her ear.</p><p>“Back at you.” Marella plants a delicate kiss on each of their hands and Biana shivers.</p><p>Music that Biana had forgotten was even on suddenly swells, she blinks dumbly at the machine. She blinks dumbly at the machine.</p><p>“We never finished dressing up,” Linh points out, doing a little shimmy and offering their girlfriends a playful grin.</p><p>“Hey, yeah!” Marella realizes, before looking to Biana mischievously. “Since we’re dating now, can Linh and I do your makeup, Bee?”</p><p>“No,” Biana shuts her down quickly, ‘dating’ echoes through her mind. Marella laughs and Linh mock pouts. “Also, Bee?” she inquires, distracted by Marella lightly kissing their partner’s cheek, bringing back their glowing smile.</p><p>“Pet name.” She shrugs, Biana wrinkles her nose.</p><p>“That’s what Fitz calls me,” she informs them,</p><p>“Oh, gross.”</p><p>“It was a wonderful try, my darling.” Linh squeezes her hand consolingly.</p><p>“Aw, why don’t I get darling?” Biana frowns. </p><p>“Because it affects her more, my love.” Linh simultaneously has both their girlfriends’ slack jaw stupefied. Talk about a secret weapon. They pat each girl on the cheek with a grin.</p><p>“Oh it’s on, baby.” Marella smirks, Linh silences her with a kiss.</p><p>“I want kisses,” Biana says, because watching is wonderful, but participating is better.</p><p>“From whom?” Linh asks as they part. Biana shrugs, she can never choose between them, her everything in two hearts. Incomplete without each other.</p><p>“Kisses are kisses.”</p><p>Marella wiggles her eyebrows at Linh before lunging across their lap to capture Biana’s lips.</p><p>Biana floats in giddy jubilation, buoyed by Linh’s laughter and Marella’s mouth. High tempo music flows around them, and Biana finally believes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come say hi to me on tumblr!! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/everyonehasthoughts </p><p>Songs Referenced:<br/>Title from: Angel - The XX<br/>A Shitty Gay Song about You - Smoothboi Ezra<br/>She - Dodie</p></blockquote></div></div>
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